Baby Items

Question: What to do when someone wants their baby items back and you no longer have them?

(Posted by: Proud Mama of 1! ☮ on 2010-06-28 08:19:49)

Okay, long story short, I was given a portable swing by a distant family member when I was pregnant with my son. She NEVER insinuated that she wanted this swing back. Well apparently she is due with her 2nd child in about 3 weeks and she spoke with my grandmother and told her to get the swing back from me... Well, the swing was not in the best shape when we got it from her and by the time we finished using it with my son it was pretty much useless... My husband and I moved into a new house about 2 months ago and I got rid of the swing because I didn& #039;t want to lug it around knowing I& #039;d never have a use for it again. What should I do? I feel awful. I didn& #039;t know she would want it back. I do have another swing I can give her but it& #039;s probably worth about triple the ammount of the one she gave me was and I really don& #039;t want to just give it to her (I dont& #039; really even know this person). What would you ladies suggest? Would it be rude for me to let her borrow the really nice swing I have and ask her to return it after she& #039;s done with it? I don& #039;t think that would be right for some reason.. .I feel like I should just give her the nice swing but that REALLY sucks because I would want it for my next child..

Posted by: Meems on 2010-06-28, 08:22:06

You should have asked before you got rid of it. You can either replace it with the swing you have or go to the store and buy her a new one of a similar quality to the one you used. You can also check out yard sales and craigslist and see if you can find her something similar.

Posted by: Gabbie LOVES raw meat! on 2010-06-28, 08:22:15

Give her a call and tell her you no longer have it and the reasons why. The swing was GIVEN to you, not loaned, so it was yours to do with as you wished. You can loan her the swing if you want to, but if you are going to have another child soon, keep the swing, and let her buy another. You could buy her a swing as a baby gift.

Posted by: R.E. on 2010-06-28, 08:22:59

I would have asked her if she wanted it back before getting rid of it. Because you didn 't I would suggest getting a similar swing at Target or Walmart. Those portable ones can be pretty cheap.

Posted by: Mrs. D Jake's Mommy 3/11/10 on 2010-06-28, 08:23:14

If she never said she wanted it back, then you owe her nothing. If you really feel like you should give her something...maybe give her a small gift card towards the purchase of new one.

Posted by: Whitney on 2010-06-28, 08:24:14

I dont think it 'd be rude at all to loan her the nice one you have now. I 'd let her know that the swing broke - you tried to fix it but it was beyond repair.

Posted by: Leah~Ari's Mommy 10/23/09~ on 2010-06-28, 08:26:31

Is it possible to purchase a swing that 's around the same value as the one she lent you? And then you can just explain that it was broken while you were using it so you had to throw it out. If you 're really attached to the swing you bought yourself and are planning to use it for subsequent children then I wouldn 't give that one to her...this whole situation is a perfect example of why you might not ever get it back! lol Who knows what could happen to it!

Posted by: K on 2010-06-28, 08:30:23

Make sure there 's not some sort of communication bother here; perhaps it was just a throwaway, "Hey, I just remembered, she might still have that old swing. I wonder if she still has it if she 'd let me have it back? That would be neat " instead of any sort of "I require and expect this. " Otherwise, a "Oh wow, I had no idea you wanted it back, it was all but in pieces when we were done with it and it 's long gone, so sorry, do you want me to keep an eye out at garage sales " would be fine. As would "I have a nice one you can borrow " -- but only do that if you are okay with not getting it back in good shape.

Posted by: Nihilists on 2010-06-28, 08:34:38

I would say that if it bothers you to just tell her the one she gave you had the motor pretty much burn out and that you are sorry you don 't have it anymore because you didn 't know she would want it back because she didn 't have any other children at that point which would be the honest thing. You can always just go find out how much the one she gave you was and buy her one or try and find one Second hand to give to her. I would say that most people really actually like to shop for there own stuff so you might just be better off fessing up and telling her you no longer have it rather than trying to replace it. Because she may not want what ever you give her. Or you could look at it in the way that you get to get a new swing next time you are in need of one for your self and don 't have to keep one around the house that you are not using. Honestly I think that if people want something back like that then they should make sure in the first place to warn the person not just give it to them and ask for it later.

Posted by: Shannon L - Gavin's Mommy on 2010-06-28, 08:38:29

I would have asked before getting rid of it. But what 's done is done. Just let her know simply that you didn 't know she was going to want it back and tell her about the condition it was in. I would offer her some money to put towards a new one. I guess if you got really desperate you could search Craig 's List or eBay for one identical to hers. = ) I think offering to let her borrow your swing would be nice. Just be sure it 's explicitly clear that you want it back for your next child.

Posted by: Misty Fied on 2010-06-28, 08:39:34

Legally, you don 't owe her anything. She gave you a gift of a used swing and did not state any conditions. Morally, if you feel bad, get her a similar swing at a yard sale or something. I wouldn 't buy her a new one.

Posted by: Cameron Michael is 6 months on 2010-06-28, 09:04:32

If it was me, I would probably feel bad about throwing away hers and just go out and buy her another one. You can always find things in various price ranges, so just buy one you think is similar to the one they had and you can afford. Tell them what happened to the other one and that you replacing it as a gift for the baby.

Posted by: Leahs mommy on 2010-06-28, 09:25:53

This might be the wrong answer but tell her it broke or something and offer your swing you have for her to borrow? ETA: I read K 's answer...she 's right I think.

Posted by: Maricella Sierra on 2010-06-28, 09:30:36

Tell her the true. anyways when u give a gift u cant take it back. now if she said i will lend it to you then that is a differnt sory.

Posted by: Kaiden's Mommy & TTC #2 on 2010-06-28, 14:00:15

Okay heres what I would do. lol I would get her number so you 're not dealing with a third person, and just tell her the truth. That you didn 't realize she ever wanted it back, and that it was in bad condition to begin with, but that after your son used it, it was in no condition for another child 's use. I would then offer to buy her another portable swing. A used one of course at comparable value. We found a portable swing on craigslist for $20! Its been pretty good but we only used it when our son was little and we were on vacation. That way she gets a swing and you 're not out your beautiful swing and you wont feel so bad! WIN, WIN! LOL. Good luck Luv! P.S. Can I just say how adorable your son is in that hat! Way too cute!!